EtW, JtH: S2: The Human Years
by LittleCrimsonRidingHood
Summary: The events before Emily the Witch, Jen the Hunter, BEFORE they were zombies. ENJOY! Hopefully, not as many chapters are in this one!
1. Chapter 1

Emily, Jen, Kieran, and Chelsea were chatting excitedly. The _Super Written Exams_, as Jen put it, and to which Emily corrected her as they were called the _Final Exams_,were finally completed. Jen just laughed and tried to push her off the sidewalk. The sun was blazing down on their backs, they were caring their bookbags, slurping slurpees, eating _Skittles_ (in Jen's case, that is), and, oddly enough, Jen wasn't wearing one of her ever present hoodies. No, her hoodie was tucked into her bookbag aswell. It was too hot to be wearing one.

They were heading over to Jen's house to play a few video games and watch a few movies. Later, they were going to head to West Edmonton Mall and get into Galaxy Land and go on a few rides. Keiran managed to snag her older brothers Xbox contollers so all four of them could play. Of course, he gave them to her first.

They arrived and Jen threw open the door. They were greeted by the air conditioned air blowing into their faces. They relaxed and let out a sigh. The cool air carresed them as they entered the two story house and entered Jen's room. They threw their stuff onto her bed and headed downstairs.

Turning on the T.V. and the Xbox, they realxed into their "gaming positions". Jen sat in the lone chair in the makeshift living room, Emily and Chelsea sat on the brown couch, and Kieran sat on the floor, in between Jen's "gaming chair" and the coffee table. They poped in the game and waited for it to load.

By the time it did, Jen already opened three more packs of Skittles. The others knew better then to ask for some, because she would fuck the shit out of them. The last guy who snagged a Skittle from her was stabbed with a fork in the leg. He was taken to the hospital to get it removed. When she was in court, she said: "Bitch tried to take my Skittles. Ain't no one take ma Skittles," foamed at the mouth, then jumped out the window. They were five stories up.

It was then when they realised that Jen could defie the laws of gravity.

They played three hours straight, no bathroom breaks, food breaks, or pauses. They barely blinked, but they finished the game they were playing twice. Jen cooked them lunch, then they watched three movies. By the time they were done, Jen's Dad drove them to West Edmonton Mall.

They spent hours running from ride to ride in Galaxy Land, Jen getting into one or two (Fifteen, if you want specifics. She's claustraphobic. Not scared and hide in the corner claustraphobic, but fucking rage attacking claustraphobic. Angry claustraphobic, I suppose you can say.) fights. They were exhausted, and Jen was debating on turning into a cannibal and eating a random passerby.

If they pooled the remaining money together, they'd have enough for McDonalds ice-cream for all of them. On their way to the food court, they passed by a giant booth with a giant sign screaming out at you "WIN A FREE TRIP TO SAVANNAH, GEORGIA, USA!"

Jen nudged Emily in the rib and tilted her head towards the booth. "Wanna sign up? We could win a free trip."

"Sure."

"One condition. If either of us wins, we have to take the other with us. No matter what. Of course, parents will be coming too."

"Hehe, 'come'." Emily giggled into her palm before shaking Jen's hand. They both walked up to the booth and signed their names down on a peice of papper, laughing as the guy believed the "our parents are dead, so we don't sign any parental consent forms" story that Jen stole from South Park and Emily caught on quikcly enough. She just figured Improvization* would do the trick.

They were about to leave when the speaker bounced out. "CONGRADULATIONS, EMILY VANDERWELL, FOR WINNING THE TRIP TO SAVANNAH, GEORGIA! COME CLAIM YOUR PRIZE. AND BRING YOUR CREEPY FRIEND WITH YOU BEFORE THE SECURITY GUYS COME AND FIND HER!"

They ran off and collected the five tickets, smiling and high fiving before they ran away from the Security. Jen's Dad picked them up, handed Jen her pass port, and resived a letter from her Mother.

They left the next week.

_**A/N: IT'S BAAAAAAACK! YOU WANTED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED WITH JEN AND EMILY WHEN THEY WERE HUMANS, AND HERE YOU GO!**_

_**FUN FACT: Jen and Emily (In real life and in fanfictions) are drama nerds. Oh, and Jen and Emily formed their own life. Amazing. Whenever we talk about what happens next, instead of saying "I" or "you", we say, "Jen", "Emily", or "She". Amazing, right?**_


	2. Chapter 2

The very second they stepped foot in America, Jen screamed in the crowded airport "THEY FOUND ME! OH GOD, SOME ONE HELP ME! THEY FOUND ME! THEY'RE GONNA TAKE ME BACK! PLEASE DON'T LET THEM! I DON'T WANNA GO BACK! HELP ME PLEASE! I DON'T WANT TO BE TESTED ON AGAIN!" She then burst out laughing as the security gaurds chased after her.

After making a daring escape by jumping out a window and hovering down, she ran off into an alley. Emily groaned, grabbed their bags and chased after her. On her way out, she ran into a raven American that went by the name of Dave. After apologizing for nearly bareling him over, Emily found out that the Government sent him to welcome the two Canadians into their country. She told him of her delema and he agreed to help her find Jen.

When they did find her, she was growling and fighting a fat kid over a big pack of Skittles. Men stood at the side, betting money on who they thought the winner would be. Emily joined in on the bidding, and, of course, she bid on Jen. Everyone else bid on the fat kid.

Boy, did they ever feel stupid when Jen started to foam at the mouth and bit the fat kids arm off that was holding the pack of Skittles. She laughed as the kids was rushed off to the hospital and assault charges were placed on her...

On the bright side, Emily became rich.

Dave, who didn't like the weird atmosphere that was going on, decided to take the girls to Whispering Oaks. It wasn't Disney Land, but it was still fun.

They were having a blast going on every ride until they hit the Tunnel of Love. "DAYMN!"

"What's wrong Jen?"

"We can't go on this ride."

"And why is that?"

"Beeecaaaaaauuuuuussssseeeee," Jen sighed, feeling like she had to explain everything to Emily, "we're in the South. They don't accept gays in the South."

"You don't know that."

"Wanna bet?"

"No! You'll win!" 

"HA!" Jen smiled triumphantly, "you just admited I was right!"

"DAMNIT!"

Stumpped, the two girls thought for abit, then jumped when they felt a finger tap their shoulders. They spun, Jen's elbow coming up to fend off the "attacker." Emily grabbed her elbow before it could make contact with the persons face. A brunett and a ginger stood behind them, the ginger covered in scars and bandages, the brunett holding a camera. "Howdy little ladies. Myh names Ellis, and this is ma buddy Kieth. We over heard your really loud argument and decided to help you."

"Will this help involve Skittles?"

"Noooo?"

"THEN WE DON'T WANT YOUR HE- OW! WHAT THE FUCK EMILY!" Emily had smacked Jen in the back of her head.

"Please ignore her, I'm pretty sure she was a failed abortion."

"HEY!" Emily ignored Jen.

"So what is your plan?"

"We sit beside you two while you go through."

"That actually might work."

Jen was sitting beside Kieth, with Emily and Ellis in the swan boat behind them. Ellis was laughing as Kieth bugged Jen, while Emily rolled her eyes at her friends over reacting to the minor insults. After a particulary funny insult, Emily couldn't handle it anymore, and brought her hand up to catch the escaping giggles. The two heard a scream, and saw Jen sitting alone in the swan boat, Kieth over board, and Jen forcing his head to stay down. "_Ви син сука! Що ти сказав! Я вб'ю тебе! Ви ублюдок! Ти помер! Ви мене чуєте? Mертвий!*_" Jen screeched, switching to a language she rarely spoke. Ellis was shaking so badly, causing Emily to take the camera from him.

"You're his best friend! How can you stand watching this?" Emily stared at Ellis.

"You hav' ta admit, he was askin' for it." Emily just nodded her head.

Needless to say, they had to shut the ride down to stop Jen from killing the poor hick. When the police tried to catch her, she ran on the roller coaster. By the time the police finally caught her, Ellis was out of tape for filming.

Ellis ended bailing her out, only to recieve a metal cup being thrown at his head and being kicked.

After recieving the girls hotel number, he promised to send them a copy of the tape, and left them at the front doors of the Hotel.

After the girls took a shower, they changed and went to bed, Jen mumbling something about zombies and growling.

_**A/N: SOOOOOO sorry for taking so long to update, but I had to wrestle a Tank sized writers block. **_

_**That weird language up there? Thats ukrainian. I know some, but I used google tranlsate for that. It says this =You son of a bitch! What you said! I'll kill you! You bastard! You dead! You hear me? Dead!**_

_**And since I'm so late up dating this, I'll give you two extra chapters with this!**_

_**YAY!**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**One Week Later:**_

It was Emily's worst nightmare. People's screams and cries were everywhere. Blood splattered the hallways and bodies littered the floors. But that wasn't what scared her. No it was the fact that the dead bodies and the splattered blood was Jen's doing.

And that wasn't the worse. The worse was the fact that Jen had this huge smile on her face and she was _humming_. Jen nevered hummed. And they had no weapons. Jen was killing zombies with her _bare hands_. By the time they exited the hotel, Jens hands were covered in blood, as was her face and shirt. A back pack was slung over her shoulder and she pushed her way outside, shouldering the heavy metal emergency door aside.

Jen hissed at the bright sun as it attacked her eyes, and she threw her hood up. On a white table was a few guns and something that made Jen smile. On the table laid two wooden swords called _malakia*_. She shoved Emily and grabbed the two swords, giving an experimental twirl with the flick of her wrist. Emily fixed herself up, then join Jen at the side of the table. She grabbed twin pistols and a machine gun, unzipping Jen's back pack and placing ammo inside. She thought for a moment before shoving the four medkits in their as well.

They jumped over the table and started to walk down the road. When the zombies drew near, Jen would move in a circular pattern and slice them, effectivly killing them. Emily just shot the ground near the oncoming zombies and the bullets ricoshed off of the cement ground and into the zombies bodies. They had no trouble getting to the evac center and boarded on the plane. The two girls were alowed to keep their weapons with them.

"Hey Jen?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm hungry."

"Take a shit then eat it."

"Why would I eat my own poop?"

"_BECAUSE IT IS DELISHOUS!_"

"What?"

"Your Mom told me."

"That would explain her breath."

Then the plane crashed. Jen and Emily survived. They headed down a road until they found a safe house. They healed their wounds and rested.

_**A/N: Sorry for it being so short! But as promised, here's this one, and one right after! **_

_**Malakia= I'm not sure on how you spell it, but it's a pair of wooden swords. I don't know if they're real or not, but I got them out of the Strange Angels Series by Lili .**_


	4. Chapter 4

The sun rose slowly and Jen groaned and shoved herself up. She didn't know when it happened, but her and Emily passed out sometime during the night. Her back was stiff and her wide hips were sore. She grabbed her back pack that she threw off to the side had spewed its contenents everywhere, and she was just rather angry altogether. They had no idea where they were, and they had no food, at all.

And Jen had cramps. Bad cramps. Period cramps. "FUCK!" Jen scrammbled up, kicking Emily in the process and waking her up.

"JEN! What's wrong!" 

"Cramps! Fucking cramps during a zombie invasion!"

"Fuck!"

The swears went on for a few more minutes before Jen kicked open the door and went phsyco. Nothing survived the twirling malakia blades that it went up against, and they didn't stop until they reached a convince store. Jen went straight to the lady prducts aisle and stocked up on _everything_. She then ran into the bathroom and fixed herself up.

Meanwhile, Emily decided to get stocked up on food and water. She grabbed another back pack and filled it with food, water, and when she decided they might need it later, vodka and whiskey. She grabbed a few lighters aswell and some fire starters. She managed to find a map and figured out they were somwheres out North, and figured it wouldn't be too hard, if not only a couple of weeks and if Jen kept PMSing, it wouldn't take long to get out of the unknown hick town they were in.

By the time Jen returned, Emily had planned out their route back home, and popped two microwave breakfeast borrittos into the microwave. The food beeped and Emily tossed Jen one. She snatched it out of the air, and popped open the top. After munching on it, she tossed the wrapper into the garbage and snagged a few packs of Skittles.

Then they were on their way again. Jen and Emily heard growling and freaked, Jen convinced it was the devil trying to drag Jen back to hell. It turns out it was a Hunter and a Witch, arguing. They were followed abit by the unwanted zombies, then were attacked by a hoard.

And they all left Jen alone. The zombies went straight for Emily, and Jen had a creepy smile on her face again. She stood on the side lines until she heard Emily scream and go down. Jen giggled maniaclly and swung the malakia once more, before charging at the zombies.

They never stood a chance against the razor sharp wooden blades. They were shreaded and diced. It was as if someone dropped a giant slap chop on them and _just kept hitting it_. All that was left once Jen slowed in her circular dance of death was mush.

Jen pulled Emily up and supported her body weight.

They managed to find a safe room before night fell and rested again.


	5. Chapter 5

They were finally able to find a Evac point. It took them about three days of walking, Jen making friends with their infected stalkers, and Emily getting attacked more then once. When Emily complained to Jen, Jen just replied with "well, maybe I have a way with zombies."

"Great. My friend, Jen, the zombie whisperer." Emily was kicked in the shin for that comment.

But Emily was telling the truth. Jen yelled "You fuckers fuck off!" She threw her arm around Emily's neck, yanking the taller girl towards her, "watashi no. Watashi no. Mine. This is watashi no. This is _mine_." The zombies left after that.

The helicopter just landed when Jen's Hunter "friend" pounced on her. Emily burst out laughing. She was laughing so hard she didn't notice Jen's enraged scream or the fact that Jen got bit by the Hunter. Jen punched the Hunter in the face, making it stummble off, then quickly grabbed her Malakia and chased him away with them.

Emily's laughter fit caused her to back into the Witch, causing her to go phsyco and attack Emily. The Witch was chased away, but in the heat of the attack, Emily too, was bit.

They tried to get onto the helicopter, but were shoved off and had guns pointed in there face. "_WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU! WE NEED TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE AND BACK TO CANADA!_" Emily swatted at the mans face, growling slightly.

"No way maaaan... we, uh, we can't accert, accet, accept zombies mannnnnnnn."

"Don't mess with us, we're Canadians, eh."

"We're soooo scared." The flyier of the helicopter pipped up, snickering into his hand.

Then Jen foamed at the mouth, lunged into the helicopter, and bit both of the men. "Don't diss us Canadians, you fucktards."

"Nooooooo! We're gunna change into zombies now."

"Yep! I also gave you rabbies." Jen smiled at the men, before hopping out of the helicopter, grabbing ahold of Emily's hand, and dragging her out of the area.

The screams from the two men made Jen giggle before dragging Emily back to the Safe House they emerged from to get to the evacuation point. Jen kicked open the door and laid Emily down, whose painful wounds were starting to get to her.

After bandaging up her wounds, Emily grabbed Jen's back pack and positioned underneath her head. She heard Jen vomit somewheres in the corner, and covered her ears, as so she, too, didn't vomit. She closed her eyes, trying to drive out the pain that was bombarding from all directions. Not being able to drive it off any longer, Emily turned on her side and vomited as well. Sobbing as she felt her stomach clench and unclench painfully, she looked back towards Jen.

Emily couldn't spot Jen, but Emily figured Jen was taking watch again, because her wounds weren't as serious as Emily's. Then she heard a frustrated scream come from Jen and saw the blood gushing out of her lower torso. "Jen!" Emily tried pushing herself up to help her friend only to scream in pain.

She had no choice but to watch her friend slowly bleed to death. She plopped her head down on the back pack when she felt a draft on her legs and stomach. Craning her neck, she saw that her pants and lower half of her shirt where gone. "Jen! Where are my clothes?"

"I used the bottom half of you shirt to bandage my wounds because you used the last health kit to bandage yours, and your pants cleaned up our vomit."

"Why didn't you use your sweater?"

"You're insane. Thats my sweater, bitch."

"So?"

"It's like taking crack away from a crack addict."

"No, that's you and Skittles."

"Well my sweater is my baby. You harm a mother bears baby and you die."

"You're equivlanting your sweater to a bear cub."

"Yes."

"You're insane."

"It's not in writing yet."

It's needless to say that Jen and Emily got no sleep that night, the arguing that comensed wouldn't allow it, because Jen always wanted the last word.

_**A/N: Sorry for keeping you waiting! And I also have to apologize for something else... there originally was going to be 10 chapters in this story, and I realised when writing this, the chapters would be too short alone, so I had to combine the chapters together. Theres only two more chapters to come after this.**_


	6. Chapter 6

Jen screamed as the thunder boomed outside, her hearing better than ever. Of course, she could care less about that as her ears were constantly being penetrated by the booming noises. The pain became so unbearable that she didn't notice Emily. Or, to be more acurate, Emily's final transformation.

Another scream came from Jen, and she froze when she heard one match the same pitch and tone, but it didn't come from her mouth. Turning, she screamed as Emily raised her clawed hands and dug them into Jen's ribs. After her knees gave out, Emily ripped her claws out and started to shred Jen's stomach and chest. Weakly, Jen brought her arms up and shoved Emily back. Jen didn't think it would work, and was surprised when it did.

Emily stummbled and started to growl again. _Great. My friend, Jen, the zombie whisperer. _

...

"EMILY STOP! DON'T DO SOMETHING YOU'LL REGRET!" Emily stopped her advance, and Jen took the moment to escape. She grabbed her back pack and threw open the door, running out into the raging storm.

-Tiem Skiep Bitchez!-

It's been three, maybe eight hours since Emily's attack, and Jen was surprised that she was still alive. With all the blood that she lost she should've been dead by now. At least the zombies were leaving her alone.

And she spoke too soon. A Tank came bareling out of the street and whacked Jen in the gut. her back connected to a brick wall and she burst through it. As she laid on the floor of the building she was forced into she saw the Tank come closer in her blurring vision. Closing her eyes, she waited for the impending death hit.

It never came. She opened her eyes and saw Emily fighting off the Tank. Her vision faded to black, but she was still consiuos. In some insane part of her mind, she realised that she no longer needed her eyes, so she ripped them out.

Then she was gone.

-'Nother Tiem Skiep Bitchez!-

Jen awoke, her vision clearing and taking on a red tinge. She pushed herself up and paused when her hands squished something. Looking down, she saw two shreaded eyes on the ground. Slowly recognization took place and Jen froze.

How can she see without any eyes?

Jen deemed that irrelevent, craved Skittles for a few seconds, then wondered where Emily was. She tried to stand up fully, but it quickly became uncomfortable for her back, so she settled into a low crouch and crawled out of the wall. Walking past the fallen body of the Tank that nearly killed her, she hissed and spat, hackles rising, then caught ahold of Emily's scent.

Jen took off, and after a few hours, she spotted the girl crying. Survivors were near by, looking for Emily.

Jen landed beside Emily and poked her. Emily turned and smiled. Jen gave Emily the peace sign. "Survivors are near by. I wanna play tic-tac-toe. Wanna go kill with me?"

"How come we can still talk like normal?"

"Because we're amazing. Now, wanna go kill?"

"Sure."

After chasing the survivors into a secluded area, the two survivors were slaughtered, and the two girls settled down.

Jen arranged the intestines into playing peices. Emily sat down across from her and they started to play. Tic-Tac-Toe.

_"DAMNIT JEN! STOP EATING THE PLAYING PEICES!"_

_ "I WANT SKITTLES! RAWR!"_

_ "WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?"_

_ "'RAWR' MEANS 'I AM GOING TO RIP OUT YOUR INTESTINES AND EAT THEM' IN HUNTER!"_

"Really Jen?"

"Love me."

_**The End**_

_**A/N: I tend to lie a lot. Look forward to EtW, JtH oneshots.**_


End file.
